Hi B. You might know me from recent posts about MIT decisions. A lot of people asked me to make posts on how to get into college, but I think I'm more qualified to tell you what to do if you didn't get in, so that's what I'll do.
Last year, I applied to 16 US colleges, and got rejected by every single one of them. I was devastated. I had a very big dream of going to (a specific) college for a long time, but I started feeling like I wasn't good enough, not even for places elsewhere that I would have considered safeties. I had applied to three summer programs in my junior year and got rejected from those as well, so I started thinking there's something wrong with me and that I'm bound to fail at anything I try to do.
The truth is, if you're an international student asking for a lot of financial aid, sometimes it feels like you're Sisyphus rolling a boulder up a hill. There are many qualified international applicants who apply to US colleges every year with low EFCs, and aid budget is limited, so inevitably, a lot of which of them gets in comes down to luck. And when you're subject to luck, probability is you might very well get rejected by a lot of places. I'm not going to tell you it gets better. It might not. I spent a lot of time feeling inadequate next to my classmates who were attending college while I took a gap year I didn't really want. I sincerely hope you don't face the same situation I did, but if you do, here are some things that I hope will help:
Give yourself a break
Crying helps. After you've done that, read or watch something that inspires you. For me, the day I got my last rejection, I binge-watched the entire season 4 of Haikyuu with a large box of tissues. If you've watched Haikyuu you might know why it helped me gather the strength to move on, at least for the time being, and keep putting effort into things I wanted to do. If you don't have anything you can think of that's particularly inspiring, I'd recommend Haikyuu.
Then, remove distractions and do the things you have to do
I personally have a very bad habit of comparing myself. It helped to leave r/a2c and deactivate facebook. This year I never once entered a2c or BBB while applying and told my friends during early applications to not tell me where people were getting in so that I could keep my focus on working on my applications. If you have exams coming up, you can try ignoring all of this and focusing on what's important for you right now.
When you're free, think about why you're doing this
I reached a point where I was so dejected about rejections that I sunk into self-pity. At that time, my dad sat me down and told me about how he sometimes walks home from work when the traffic gets too bad, and feels frustrated about his problems. But he often sees this man who has one leg and walks on that same road. Hearing that right after a rejection at first felt frustrating, but with some time, I realized how I've strayed from my goal. I wanted to do something that was bigger than myself and impacted the world around me, and with the countless problems the world is facing every single day, I could do that no matter where I went, and that was an incredibly comforting realization.
Think about next steps, and fall in love with some safeties
There are great colleges in the US and other countries that gives merit scholarships. Look into those. Chances are, you might end up really liking some of them. One of the main things that pulled me to US colleges was academic flexibility. Although my first viable acceptance (an Asian university - the first university that accepted me that I could actually afford to attend) this year didn't have that, the program I got into was exciting in and of itself. The scholarship was amazing, there were great semester abroad opportunities, and alumni got placements to top employers after graduation.
You might still want to go to your dream school though, and that's okay!
I knew last year that I still definitely wanted to apply to US colleges again. What changed this year is how I went about it. Whenever I stumbled into posts about people's stats and ECAs, I'd feel awestruck (you guys are very impressive) and start to compare myself. If you're a second-time applicant, you can also try avoiding college admissions forums like this one or A2C. For those asking, I probably won't share my stats for this reason. If you want to know the profiles of those getting into the colleges you like, there are countless places to find them. I think it helps to focus on yourself and how you can do the best from where you're at. If you get into college it won't be because you look just like other people who got accepted. It will be because you stood out, and the only way you stand out is by not lettting your uniqueness be swallowed up by the black hole of self-comparison.
(References: Yale Admissions podcast, episode 13: 'What Stands Out' https://admissions.yale.edu/podcast
Applying sideways, which is the best advice anyone can give you: https://mitadmissions.org/blogs/entry/applying_sideways/
This post about comparisons that I like:
https://mitadmissions.org/blogs/entry/an-open-letter-to-mit-applicants/)
Make good use of your gap year if you take one
I've found that gap years are a great time to do things I always wanted to do but was too intimidated to or just didn't have the time for. So there's somewhat of a silver lining.
Ask for advice, but specific advice
If you're ever stuck, there are many people who'll make the time to help. I was lucky to be very well-resourced. My friends and seniors helped me out beyond the extent I could reasonably expect. A lot of people on this group will do that too. I'm no expert on getting into college, and I very likely won't tell you my stats, but if you have specific questions that can't be googled, feel free to reach out. I'll only be answering specific questions though, so please don't just say hi; ask what you want to right away. I currently have a lot of DMs and a lot on my to-do list, but I'll get to them as soon as I can.
Lastly, this blog post that I love (https://mitadmissions.org/blogs/entry/waiting-for-decision-day/)
which has this quote: "Being rejected is kind of awesome. It means you’re playing with your upper limits. A lot of people don’t rejected at all; they’re playing it safe."
I don't believe that college admissions rejections show where your upper limits are, but I do think it says a lot about your ability to take risks and your strength in not letting limitations (like a low EFC) stop you from doing what you want. Hold on to that, and good luck!
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